Not Sure

Not sure what to write exactly, just thought I would put something in because I have the opportunity. Yesterday I worked on the big painting a bit as well as the long one, and glazed some ceramic ware and even a little printmaking work. It was quite a day for me and art making. Ad really, aside from my clumsiness at glazing thepots, things seemed to go very well. I will go in again today but I do not think I can work on the big painting at all, it'll be too wet. Yesterday I was starting to get into working on the book. I recall what Sun Lian Gang was talking about with letting things go and allowing the painting to just come out when I'm painting, and to an effect I can feel that. I am sure he still wouldn't like it, but that is because he is like that. Like a lot of Chinese people, always knows everything. Actually, I guess that is not a Chinese thing, a lot of people are like that. Maybe I should actually get some classroom work done. Actually, the main reason I want to go into school is to swim. I also read up on Angor Wat last night, another very pleasant evening of reading, drinking a White Russian and smoking a cigar. I tried to practice the bass last night but I just couldn't get quite on it. Here and there things were working but I was having a hard time keeping with the metronome and I kept running into problems with Fly Me to the Moon. My fingers and eyes couldn't keep up. Even my old standard Alright, Okay You Win was off. I gave up after about half an hour. I need to keep it up though. Contrary to what the guys in the band are doing I still want to do a lot more acid jazz stuff. Standards are fine to begin with but I want it funk and new, not just another jazz band. After this gig I will introduce some new tunes. Zhu Kun brought in All Blues which I think is a good start to something new. I was thinking about my personality the other day. I will never be that kind of person who makes a lot of money or is always in public eye or anything like that. I just don't possess the personality for it. When Helen and I were out at Migas the other night I could feel it. I got along well with Ursula but most everyone else I was pretty much a dud. Even the American/Canadian loser club. I just don't fit in to a lot fo groups fog people and as a result things in normal groups people never work out for. It is not that I am sad about that, I am just learning about myself more and more these days. A month ago when I finally broke out of the the depression I started to be more happy with myself and I am able to recognize these things. The last couple of days as well because, finally I get some rest and I have some energy. Well that's all I have to say for today.